Category Archives: Random

Apr21

What I’ve learned about grief

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Losing my dad the day after Christmas in the wee hours of the morning has so far been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in all 38 years of life. Death is inevitable, but when it comes, it is a feeling that is indescribable. While it’s true that time heals all wombs, because I am handling it better than I imagined I would now that a few months have passed, it is also true that I’ll never be the same, and I’ll never get over the loss. The grief process is different for everyone, and I see it within my family. My mom lost not only our dad, but her very best friend, so I can only imagine how she feels. All she can tell me is that it hurts on the inside and there’s nothing anyone can do.

 I figured I’d share what I’ve learned, and how I’m managing to get through; and hopefully it helps someone who needs it.

1. It’s ok to cry. 

You may be saying duh, but it’s hard to explain to others who have never experienced a loss of a loved one. Some days are better than others. Some days you may not cry at all. You may not have even cried at the funeral. There is no normal, but when the emotions wash over you, let it out and cry. It’s ok. Crying is definitely therapeutic. Funny but not funny, I had to buy a new concealer that was tear proof because I’m telling you, you just never know when you’ll have a moment and I got tired of having a runny streak of concealer under my eyes from crying! 

2. Let those who love and care be there for you. 

At first it may be hard, at least it was for me, but if someone offers to get you out of bed, come sit with you, whatever it is, let them. At the time, you may not feel like it, but chances are you’ll feel so much better afterwards. 

3. Talk to God. 

Some days my prayers are more like talks. I get out how I’m feeling. How much I miss my dad, and a lot of times asking Him to give my dad a big hug and kiss for me! I haven’t questioned why it happened, but I ask Him to help us all through this. And I feel better afterwards, or at least I feel reassurance. I know my dad is in heaven, no longer in pain, cancer free, and watching over all of us. He’s now my VIP angel! I find myself talking to my dad too, and sometimes asking him to go give Jesus a nudge about my prayer requests! 

4. Reflect on the good times. 

What helps me is thinking about the fun I had with my parents over the years. I don’t want to remember him as I last saw him, slipping out of this life and taking his last breath. Instead, I often look at pictures and think of funny moments. We loved to laugh, and there’s so many memories that I’m thankful I have of the good times with my dad. 

5. Make your loved one proud by living your best life. 

Several people have told me that my dad is proud of me, and it always makes me smile every time. I hope it’s true. I hope when my dad watches over me, he’s happy with how I’m continuing to honor him, keep his memory alive, and keeping on keeping on! 

My dad was loved, and is loved! I’m so very thankful to have such a great dad. As he told me every day, I love you dad, to the moon and back 😘

I truly hope this helps someone. Grief is hard, it’s different for everyone, but trust me, you can get through it. You’ve got this 😊

Feb3

The power of vision boards

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Happy Friday y’all! Hope everyone had an amazeballs week! So, this week I did something I’ve been saying I would do for years, I made my first vision board. Let’s face it, 2016 wasn’t kind to a lot of us. It was actually the worse year of my life. Nothing seemed to go right. I lost my dad. Didn’t seem to make much progress in other areas of my life. It just sucked! But, I’ve been reading more about vision boards. Everyone on my Facebook friends list seemed to be having, or going to a vision board party, so I figured the universe was telling me to just do it! 

I believe in God’s word, “As a man thinketh, so is he.”; I believe in the law of attraction, and I believe in just plain positive thinking; so creating a vision board really is a no brainer. Basically you find pictures and quotes of things that you want to change or manifest in your life. I glued mine to a poster board, glittery of course, and put it some place where you’ll see it everyday. There’s a lot of articles out there by doing a quick Google search that’ll tell you all about why this works. 

I chose to focus on things I want to happen in my life. Finding love, having a family, getting healthier, making more coins, advancing my career, starting something new, and of course finding more great shoe deals! I hung mine on the door leading to my garage because I go out of that door everyday and will no doubt see it! 

I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated when my visions come into fruition! What are your thoughts on vision boarding? Have you tried it yet?

Jan12

Reflections on my dad

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No it’s not Father’s Day yet, but it’s been nearly 3 weeks since my dad has been gone and I can’t help but miss him like crazy! When Father’s Day does roll around, I know it will be tough no longer having him here to celebrate! I’ll miss the dinners, most recently Longhorn has edged out Red Lobster as the fav; the insanely delish cakes from Mrs. Roach; endless laughs while he teased us about ganging up on him; shopping for gifts that I knew would make him smile and sometimes cry; just everything! 

My dad was a quiet man to most, but to us, he had a lot to say and I loved our daily conversations and laughs! He looked forward to my daily calls where I’d catch him up on the latest funny story. It was even funnier that I’d tell him, then tell my mom the same thing, and he would later tell her like he was in the know first! 

We have so many good, happy memories, and for that I’m thankful. The parents weren’t always good road trip partners, because they’d fall asleep in a skinny minute, but once we finally got to where we were going, we always had the best time! Our last trip to the beach was the best ever. It was in 2015. We didn’t get to go last year because that’s when we found out the worse news ever, dad had stage 4 lung cancer. Hearing the news was like a punch in the gut. 

My dad was the strongest man I’ll ever know. He was a little guy until later in life when he put on some weight. He loved food, and so did I! I loved that I could always get him to eat whatever I was eating that I didn’t need to be, so I didn’t feel as guilty! He put up a good fight and stood up to cancer. Even up until the end, he fought to stay here with us, but God had other plans and called him home sooner than we wanted. It just felt like we had more time! 

The hurt that I’m feeling likely won’t go away any time soon, but the memories keep me going. That, and knowing he’s in paradise and probably wouldn’t want to leave heaven if he could! We also took plenty of pics over the years, so I get to still enjoy seeing his beautiful smile anytime I want. That gives me great comfort. 

 I know we all think our dad’s are great, but mine truly was the bestest! Until I see you again, dad, I love you to the moon and beyond 😘

Dec4

A must try bathroom cleaner

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Happy Sunday y’all! The procrastinator that I am waits until Sunday to clean. So cleaning is fresh on the brain! This is something that has nothing to do with anything I blog about but I’m so excited about how well this cleaner worked, I just had to share! I hate cleaning, but I do love a clean house. My last boyfriend even told me that my house was “too clean” whatever that means! 

So, I was shopping at Walmart on Friday and was looking for a new cleaner. My tub gets so dirty. You’d swear I never take showers if you looked at my tub at the end of the week! I still don’t know where all the dirt comes from 😳 I feel like I’ve tried every cleaner out there and haven’t quite found one that really works. After seeing the commercials for years, I finally decided to try CLR. 

Y’all, this stuff is a miracle worker! I can’t believe how well it worked and I didn’t even have to scrub until my arm felt like it was about to fall off! I’ve only used it in the tub so far but it says it works on multiple surfaces. 

I also found this little brush at Walmart, and it’s the bomb.com! 


So, here’s my super clean bathtub, thanks to CLR! 

I’m a forever fan now, I don’t think I’ll try anything else! Have you guys found a cleaner that really, really works for the tub? 

Feb24

Are women complicated?

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Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and possibly set in my ways, but I’m starting to realize sometimes I’m a little complicated! Dating post divorce has really shown me that I’m not the same person I was when I was dating in my teens and 20’s! Now that I’ve been on the other side for awhile I’ve also realized that you people who wait until your 30s to get married are very, very smart! If I had to do it all over again, I would have waited. Anyway, I digress…the purpose of today’s blog is to admit that I’m a woman, and yes sometimes I’m complicated! 

Especially when it comes to dating. For example, when I’m not dating, I miss phone calls, texts, etc., but when I’m getting to know someone new, I get annoyed if they don’t call, but then if they do call everyday, I’m also annoyed! I start to think of reasons why his calls bother me. Is he cray cray or doesn’t have anything else going on? Then for the guy that doesn’t call, I’m annoyed that he can’t pick up the phone to call. Am I not important enough to him? And uh hello, I have a phone too, so why not just call him? 

And then there’s the act of going out on a date itself. I want to go out and get out of the house, but I’m also quite happy being at home in my comfy clothes in front of the tv! So, I sometimes find myself making excuses to not go…and let it be during the week. The answer is always no because after working out, it just takes me too long to put myself together again! But that’s not exactly flexible and conducive to growing a relationship if that’s my goal! 

So, yeah, I have no solution to this conundrum but the first step is at least admitting the problem! 

Feb22

If you like it, wear it…

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Hey y’all! Hope everyone had an awesome weekend. Mine was very relaxing…and by relaxing I mean I was extremely lazy and did a whole bunch of nothing! Partly because I was super tired and partly because it wasn’t pay week so I had to lay low and avoid spending cash! 

So, today at work among other random conversations, my co workers and I were talking about age appropriate clothing. For those who know me well, you know that age appropriate and clothing don’t belong in the same sentence! In my eyes, if you like it, you’re comfortable in it…and most importantly it looks good on you, go for it! Crop tops when you’re no longer in your 20s? Sure! Mini skirts when you’re over 40? Heck yeah! Short shorts? Uh of course! 

The key is to dress for the body you have now…not the one you had 20 years ago. So, we have to be honest with ourselves about what looks good. Or at least have a good girlfriend to be totally honest with you. It may hurt your feelings, but a bruised ego is better than leaving the house looking a hot mess! 

With that being said, I have no plans to retire my hot pants, mini skirts, or crop tops any time soon! 

What’s your favorite thing to wear that you’re probably “too old” to wear? 

Jan15

Ghosting…that’s what we’re calling it now

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During my morning wake up and scroll through Facebook I saw an article about a young woman’s first date, that seemed to go well…until she suddenly stopped hearing from the guy. In my day (sounding like I’m an old fossil) we called it the disappearing act, but now it’s called ghosting apparently. Yeah, I had no idea we were calling it that either! 

Let’s face it, no matter how awesome we are, we’ve either done this or had this happen…and probably more than once! A couple years ago, I was dating someone who I won’t call out because we’re still Facebook friends and will probably see this 😫 but we were dating for a few months, talked everyday on the phone, and dare I say it, I was beginning to fall in l_ _ _ with him. Then one day we were having our daily chat after work, he said he was going into the store and would call me back…only he never did! 

After trying to call him a few times, sent a few texts, and even Facebook messages, I realized that I wouldn’t be hearing from him again, but why? The worse part is that we had even had numerous conversations about this topic and both agreed that we weren’t into game playing and if either of us were no longer interested we would be honest and tell each other. 

It definitely sucks when this happens. Not only are your feelings hurt, you’re confused, and just left wondering why. And when you’re well into your 30’s you really should be mature enough to be able to express your feelings and not just cease all communication and fall off the face of the earth just because you’re a coward and would rather disappear. 

Of course I moved on eventually, but if I had the chance, even today, I’d want to have the conversation with him and find out why it ended the way it did. Although my trusty woman’s intuition tells me that when this happens, 99.9% of the time, they either met someone new or someone old came back into their lives. 

Girls, if you haven’t found yourselves in this position, unfortunately you probably will, but it happens and life goes on. Karma is also a mighty biotch! 

Jan6

2016 goals

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I’m not one to do the whole new year resolution deal, but I do like to set goals for myself every year. I have them in my head, but I never write them down, so I’m trying something different this year! I read that if you write them down, you have a greater chance of achieving them, so here goes! Basically I want to get my life together this year! Not that my life is bad, but things could always be better, I could be better…we all have areas of improvement in our lives. 

  • Have a closer relationship with God. 

For me, I believe that if you put Him first, all other things will fall into place, so I want to spend more time getting to know His word, praying more, seeking Him for guidance, and letting Him lead the way. I’ve started a reading the bible in a year plan on the Bible app, I bought a new daily devotional book, and I love to read Rick Warren’s daily devotional emails, so I think I’m off to a good start! I also have an awesome church that I attend, Nations Ford Community Church, so if you’re looking for a church to visit, you’re welcome! 

  • Get serious about my career/discovering my calling

First let me say that I work for an awesome company, I love the people I work with…but I can’t say that I’m doing what I love. My passion is writing and fashion, so the question is, how do I turn that into my dream job? Starting this blog was a good first step for me last year, but now it’s time to really figure out what I want to do when I grow up! I’m also open to ideas, so please share what you think I should be doing!

  • Finding love

Well if you know me in real life, or have been following my blog, you know that I’m a sucker for love! I love, love, but it doesn’t always love me back! While I do trust God’s timing, I figure by putting it out in the atmosphere officially, maybe He will speed up this process and send my future hubby along 😉. I also know that I’m not going to meet him at home, and I’m terrified of online dating, so I’m making an effort this year to get out and do things that I enjoy and perhaps I may run into Mr. Right along the way. Who knows, he could already be in my life, sometimes the person you’re meant to be with is right in front of you! I’ve also learned that the best things in life typically happen unexpectedly! 

  • Build a stronger relationship with my sisters

I have 2 sisters, I’m the middle child, we grew up having different interests, they were both into sports and such…me, I was your typical girlie girl with my barbies! I think not having similar interests, and being off doing other things with other people may be the reason we aren’t super close, but it’s never too late to make up for lost time! While we’re all still very different, what we do have in common is the fact that we are sisters, and that’s all the reason needed to build a better relationship. 

  • Increase my savings 

So, you guys know that I love to shop! Although I’m a bargain shopper and I’m not spending a ton of money, I know I could do better with saving. Maybe I don’t NEED every pair of shoes I see. I can’t say that I’m not going to shop at all, that would just be crazy, but I am going to make an effort to shop less and save more! I also want to increase my 401k contribution because let’s face it, I’m also going to need shoe money when I retire! 

  • Volunteer more

Giving back is very important to me. Right now I volunteer as a reading buddy at a local elementary school, but I know I could be doing more. While I have the time, I want to do more, so this year, I’ll be looking for new volunteer opportunities. Also, if you know of any, please let me know! 

  • Get in better physical shape 

This year I plan to kick up my workouts a notch by trying new classes and exercises in hopes of getting off this stupid plateau! I’m also now seeing a nutritionist, so hopefully we can solve the mystery of why I’m not losing weight. There’s always room for improvement! 

So, those are my goals for 2016! I hope to be telling you all at the end of the year that I achieved them! I’d also like to know what your goals are! We could be in prayer for each other, so please share! 

    Dec7

    Tortellini, spinach, and tomato soup recipe

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    I’m a sucker for a Pinterest recipe or when I see one floating around on Facebook! So far, I haven’t found one that I didn’t like! 

    I saw this one posted on Facebook several times, and I always have it on my list of things to try, and I finally made it yesterday! 

      I made a few modifications. For one, I didn’t feel the need to make it in the crock pot, so I made mine on the stove. I also used chicken broth because my veggie broth had been tampered with and I didn’t want to take my chance of being poisoned, so I used chicken broth that I had on hand! I also used frozen spinach. 
    I put all ingredients in a large pot on medium heat until the cream cheese melted and then added the tortellini for the last five minutes or so since it doesn’t take much time to cook. 

    It maybe took about 45 minutes from start to finish. Here’s everything that I used, minus the veggie broth. 

      And here’s the final product. I’d definitely make it again, and I have plenty leftover for lunches for a few days this week. I love to make meals on Sundays that will last into the week!  

     
    Do you have any quick and easy recipes? If so please share!!! 

    Nov30

    Homemade detox lemonade tea

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    Raise your hand if you over indulged last week during thanksgiving! Uh yeah, my hand is raised high! Thankfully it wasn’t on sugary desserts, but only because we only had one sweet potato pie that I picked up at Publix, and banana pudding. By the way, Publix makes a pretty good pie, for being store bought. I haven’t tasted the infamous Patti pie, but I think it could give it a run for its money! 

    On another note, I had planned on making yummy homemade vanilla cupcakes with cream cheese icing…but they turned out horrible, and by horrible I mean they wouldn’t rise so they ended up in the trash. Something must have went wrong with doubling the recipe. The original recipe only made 12 cupcakes, but oh no I had to be greedy and double it to make 24 and look where that got me, nowhere!!!! So that’s what happened to the desserts! 

    Anyway, after all the food that went in my belly, I felt bloated and just plain over stuffed so I made this awesome detox tea that I had seen someone post on Facebook. 

      Not pictured but included in the original recipe is cayenne pepper. Supposedly it aides in digestion if you were to drink this right after a big meal. I didn’t add it to my tea but maybe next time. It actually tastes really good and even if the detox claims are untrue I’ll continue to drink it. 

    Grab a mug and all you have to do is add the juice of 1 lemon along with a pinch of each of the spices, and a little honey, then add a cup of boiling hot water. Mix well, and drink up! 
    I can tell you that this definitely gets things going, if you know what I mean. So if that’s the detox effect then it does work! 

    Have you ever tried this concoction and what do you think? 

    Hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving holiday!