Is it being picky or not willing to settle? 

Standard

We hear it all the time when you’re single. “You’re too picky.” “What’s wrong with you?” But what’s wrong with having some standards and not being ok with settling just for the sake of having a man, any piece of a man for that matter. I for one believe in not settling for less than what you deserve. Of course I get lonely, and at times I get weak and settle for just a warm body in bed (hey, just keeping it real,) at the end of the day I want a whole lot more than that.

And by standards I mean, the way he treats you, having someone who sees a future with you, who has goals and is working towards achieving them, someone you’re compatible with on all levels…so I’m not hung up on looks at all. Of course I’d love for my future boo to look like Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, but as long as he treats me like a queen, it’s not about what he looks like. Now, don’t hear what I’m not saying, I do have to at least find him attractive & desirable, so no ugga boogas please!!!

Is it wrong to want the happily ever after? Uh, heck no! For me, as a divorcee, I’ve had my heart stomped on, lost myself and my money, and was left with nothing but the pieces to put my life back together. And I did just that, put my big girl panties on and sucked it up to deal with life (that’s actually a good topic for a future blog) but after going through all of that I learned a valuable lesson that I’m so thankful to have learned. That lesson, NEVER settle for less than I deserve. And once I learned the lesson, I’m not planning to make the same mistake twice.

And, since I worked so hard (and God answered my prayers most importantly,) I’m not willing to settle for any ol’ man with a pulse. Not that money is everything, but my future boo has got to come correct and at least have more than I have already. I’m doing well for myself and I’m not willing to let someone come into my life to jack up my situation! After all, I want a help mate, not someone I have to keep up.

So, call it picky or whatever you like, but when you’ve gone through what I have, you will understand the value of not settling. Know your worth and wait for God’s best! I wish I had done that the first time, but such is life, it doesn’t matter how long it takes to learn the lesson as long as you learn it!

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8 responses »

  1. You definitely shouldn’t settle! 🙂 I think sometimes people project their own feelings onto others which is why we hear so many negative comments on relationships, parenting, etc. It’s best to end up with the person who you deserve and not just the one who came around first. Great post!

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    • Thank you!!! And I totally agree, I’ve seen way too many people I love settle for who came first instead of what they deserve and are now suffering the consequences. It’s not worth it!

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  2. I was so close to settling and it is hard not to when you don’t see what you want coming. If you feel in your gut that it isn’t right, you shouldn’t continue. Who cares what everyone else thinks? At the end of the day, YOU have to live with them.

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  3. I agree you should never settle. But, I don’t know if I would NOT date someone if they don’t have more than me. I think if someone is working towards a particular career or goal then that shows character, perseverance and drive. However, if you’re of a certain age, a struggling musician and have no direction, that might be a problem for me. Great post. #BLMGirl

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  4. I have settled in previous dealings with men, and after my last ex and I broke up – I rebuked the concept. Now that I’m married, I’m glad that I set those standards, but I’m also glad I learned those lessons that made me set the bar higher. Life is that learning experience.

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    • Thanks for sharing! This gives me hope! The longer I’m single, the more doubt creeps in, but I know it’s worth waiting on what I deserve. I love good love stories so I’m so happy to hear you got your happy ending!

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